The results

They didn't help me feel much better. It appeared that he was a little over medicated for his thyroid problem which is why he started to lose weight (this would not cause him to be in the condition he was). He also had slight levels raised for his kidneys and white blood count which could have been a result of his diarrhea. Other than that he had a perfect test. The vet was quiet shocked when I told him that I had to put him down because his lungs sounded great on Thursday. But he did reassure me that if he was going through everything I described I made the right decision. That doesn't make me feel any better. Bear was also my protector when hubby went to work so now I have none and feel vulnerable. I just don't think I could possibly get another dog right now or anytime soon. A cat, maybe, but what good will that do as far as protection? I'm so messed up right now and it sucks!

I would really love to get involved with an animal rescue and I sorta am now, but it isn't enough. The organization is a bit small so they really don't have much for me (or at least they aren't giving it to me). I also thought about fostering, but that could be a lot of work as well because a lot of the animals require some training and I really don't have the time for that. I also thought about checking with my vet to see if they could use volunteers. I'd love to work in the office for free (no I'm not that nuts I just have a passion for it). And then I thought about starting my own nonprofit for those that are experiencing financial hardship that can't afford their vet bills. But that sounds like a TON of work and I have no idea where to start. I'm done rambling now :)